Four weeks in! That means I'm officially 1/3 of the way done with this trip already, which is absolutely insane. I finished up my stay in Iceland, flew to Denmark, spent one night there, and now, I'm writing this blog post in Italy! It's been an interesting week. Some amazing things, and some really difficult but necessary things.
On Wednesday, it was time to depart from the east of Iceland, and head back towards Reykjavik. I left with the two Czech girls, Ivana and Kristina, and we headed west. On the way we stopped at a glacier off the side of the road that ended up being one of my favorite things I saw in the whole country. Something about glaciers is purely awe-inspiring. The way the jagged ice contrasts the surrounding colors, and the way the glaciers wind down through the mountains, and create the amazing river veins I talked about last week. Unfortunately, due to the effects of climate change, Iceland has already lost one glacier, and the others are melting at an alarming rate. I know my children will not be able to see this the same way I did, which is heartbreaking, but I'm also so thankful to be alive in a time when these dramatic landscapes still exist.
We continued driving without stopping, except for fuel until we made it to Ivana's house, still about two hours from Reykjavik. There, Kristina and I used the Iceland car pooling site and found a ride to Reykjavik with a Hungarian man named Peter. We had lots of great conversation on the ride. One of my favorite things about this trip has been the amazing diversity of people. It's only been a month and I've met people from all over Europe and beyond.
That night, we made it to Stepan and Paul's place, the two Czech guys, where I'd be staying for the next few days. It was time to call it a night.
The next day was a challenging one. One of the guys started asking me questions that were very critical of me, because he'd noticed that I'd been alienating myself, always on my phone or laptop, being lazy, etc. My gut reaction was to fight him on these things. But the truth is, he was right. Over the past weeks, I'd been focusing on myself a LOT. I had to. Being alone in an unfamiliar place thousands of miles from home forced me to start making all my own decisions and facing the consequences of those actions, good or bad. Self care is always important. You have to be able to take care of yourself. But I crossed the line from self care into selfishness. This was in part because of some of the rough situations I'd been in, and the fact that I was hanging out with people from another country who'd known each other for years, and I'd known them for just days. But that doesn't justify it. It's still my job to love others well and do my best to build relationships.
The next day was fairly slow for the most part. During the day at least. That evening, however, was one of the most memorable of the trip. It started with me walking to the park behind the house, which turned out to be a perfect parkour spot! Oh yeah, if you didn't know, I've been training parkour for eight years and teaching it for two. I hadn't gotten to jump around for like a month so I had a ton of fun drilling jumps, climbing techniques, and flips. Then we all ate a delicious meal of fish, potatoes, and various salads. But the best was yet to come. The forecast for Aurora Borealis was a five. The KP scale goes from one to nine, one meaning you can't see anything, nine meaning the geomagnetic is so strong that it's probably gonna cause problems. So a five means that assuming the skies are clear, it's gonna be pretty mind blowing. And indeed it was. We walked to the top of a nearby hill overlooking the city, and the sky absolutely exploded. Green lights danced across the sky slowly, then quickly, then slowly again, then pink light would join it for a second and jump rapidly before the whole show faded to black. It would stay dark, or there would be just a few lights for a while, and then the fireworks would start again.
I couldn't believe my eyes. It took 25 days for me to see the northern lights in Iceland. And it was 100% worth the wait.
Then on Saturday, I woke up to a pain in my right foot. It felt like the ball of my foot was bruised, so I decided to take it easy. I spent almost all day writing emails and watching YouTube. But throughout the day, my mental state started to decline. The loneliness started creeping into the back of my mind, and eventually started taking over.
I've spent nights alone in the wilderness, miles from civilization. I've climbed mountains for sunrise, by myself. But those experiences were for the purpose of intentionally seeking solitude. The type of loneliness I've felt out here is like nothing I've ever felt. It's almost crippling sometimes. Being across the ocean and away from family, friends, and literally everything I've ever known is just about the hardest thing I've ever done.
I ended up calling Mom, just to talk about it, and she encouraged me to spend some time in prayer, so I did. I got really honest with God about where I was at. Lonely, frustrated, angry, doubting, and sad.
"What on earth am I thinking? Going to Europe for three months by myself when the only time I've been out of the country was on organized mission trips to Mexico! And what are you doing sending me here?!"
"I CAN'T do this alone."
"If the next few months are as hard as this one, I'm not going to make it."
These were the thoughts and questions going through my mind as I prayed. After a time of silence, I heard that still, small voice, as described in 1 King's 19:11-13, reassuring me. I am where am, and I'm doing what I'm doing, because this is where the Lord has led me. Yes, there will be challenges. There will be days that absolutely suck. But my job is to love and encourage the people I meet, and to use my God-given talents to capture this experience. There is a lot of uncertainty, but what's uncertain to me IS certain to God. So I can trust his will. I've got this because he's got this.
And on that note, it was time to pack my bags and prepare for the next step in my journey.
I was on my way to Venice, but before I got there, I had a 20 hour stop in Copenhagen, Denmark. When searching for flights, a 20 hour layover is usually a no, but when I saw that flight, I jumped at the opportunity! My junior year of high school, there was an exchange student from Denmark named Lea, and we had become great friends. So when I saw that flight, I asked if I could come stay for the night, and she said yes!
So I arrived at the airport, her mom grabbed my things, and the two of us headed to downtown Copenhagen! We rented bikes, and rode all over the city. Then we dropped off the bikes, and ate a delicious dinner at a way-too-expensive-but-still-worth-it outdoor cafe. Then we headed home and went to bed.
I decided to leave the camera with my bags. I love photography, but sometimes it's important to leave my camera behind so I can just enjoy the experience and give my mind a creative rest.
And after a short night's sleep, it was officially time for Italy. I enjoyed breakfast with Lea and her mom, and then headed to the airport. I arrived in Venice that afternoon, and took a bus to nearby Padua, where I was staying with a host from couch-surfing. He was a very kind man, who showed me all around the city, telling me the intricacies and the history. He's lived in the city for all 61 years of his life, so his knowledge was amazing! We enjoyed some gelato that was a solid 12/10, walked through an old church, and then headed back to his home for dinner, and then headed for bed.
Then there was today. And what a day it's been. I woke up around 6:15, after my third restless night of no more than six hours of sleep, packed my things, ate a quick breakfast, and hopped on the train to Venice.
I wanted to see Venice, but didn't think it was going to work out this time because of timing But my host was adamant that I go spend the day there, so he helped me figure it out and off I went! I arrived at my luggage locker, and promptly realized that there was still 1.5 hours before my reservation *facepalm.* But it was okay, I sat at a cafe across the street and ate an amazing apple strudel. When it was finally time, I dropped my bag off, pulled out my camera, and walked into the maze of Venice with no plan. I wandered for a long time through the endless narrow streets, photographing the unique architecture. I eventually made it to the famous Rialto a San Marco. I was greeted by astounding architecture, countless pigeons, and hoards of tourists. There were so. Many. People. I made my stay there short, and ventured off in search of a quieter area of the city. I found some nice gardens and took a break.
The previous day, I'd received a message from a friend I met in school two years ago, and it turned out she was in Venice! We met up and talked for a while, then were coaxed into eating pizza at a nice restaurant by a fairly insistent worker out front. It was sooo worth it. Not expensive at all, and the pizza was amazing!
I wandered for a while longer, and then went back to the train station and headed north to Belluno, where my next host family picked me up. I felt instantly welcomed, a sharp contrast to my time in Iceland, and spent the evening chatting with the parents and playing with the children. It should be an amazing few weeks here. I'm very excited.
In Venice, I had a lot of fun experimenting with the "shutter drag" camera technique while photographing the boats. It's challenging! These photos aren't perfect, but they were still super fun to create and I'm happy with them!
This week has made me think and grow a lot, especially since that conversation while I was still in Iceland. I've really started to shift my thinking. I do need to plan and for and think of myself, but the other people matter even more. I have a tattoo on my left arm about putting love first, no matter which direction life takes me, in the hills and the valleys. That needs to be my focus. It's not always easy, but it will make my time here so much easier, and more fulfilling.
I've also been thinking a lot about "home." I've always believed that home is a feeling more than it is a place, but on this trip, I've been missing the feeling of my actual home, in Denver. Though my mind often drifts there, My core belief about home remains the same. Home is a feeling. Home is peace and contentment. Home is being filled with comfort and joy by the people around you. Home is when we learn to love the skies we're under (as spoken about in Mumford and Son's Hopeless Wanderer). I think one of the main reasons Iceland was so hard at times was because I rarely had these feelings. The only time I can truly say I did is when I was high in the mountains chasing sheep and looking down on the rivers.
This trip is going to teach me a lot about finding home, and how to stay sane when finding it is impossible.
Thankfully, with my new host family, I feel most of those things. In truth, it's only night one, but their hospitality this afternoon and evening have been phenomenal! So for tonight, home for me is in the small town of Orzes in the Italian Dolomites.
For you this week: Think about where home is for you. Not only your literal home, but the other places where you feel those feelings. In the comments down below, tell me about those places!
As always, chase your passions, stay stoked, love first and remember that fulfillment lies on the far side of discomfort.
Thanks for reading! I'll talk to you guys next week.
- Zwiegs
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